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u're right!!!! it's been ages since i updated!!!! but here's a bit, not very long but still, and i've noticed noone except chris reads it, WHY???? noone reads anything here lately!!! WHY??? is everone so busy as i am lately????

Jamie couldnt find a good sleep that night. She was shifting and tossing on the bed amongst the crumpled sheets. Few times she woke up with a start from a short slumber, wet from sweat and breathing hard.

What a nightmare... she whispered to herself at some time when she went to the kitchen for a glass of water. Only after a moment she realized that it was no nightmare. She was really pregnant with Orlandos baby. Tears stung her eyes. She really wasnt ready for such bomb.

i will be a mother? i cant be a mother! im not ready! I dont know what mothers do! how will i manage? ALONE?! nonono.... there must be some other way out... i cannot have this baby! I CANT!!! but its Orlandos baby.... his baby... our baby... She burst in tears crouching down from pain and despair. why its happening to me? i have no strenghts to go through it! how am i supposed to take care of this baby if i cant take care of myself?! i need help...

She wanted to go to someone. To talk. To hear that she would make it.

She grabbed her callphone from the floor and dialed the number of the first person that came to her dizzy and not thinking straight mind, the person that was always with her when she was going through rough times in the last months.

Hello...

When she heard Orlandos sleepy hoarse voice she snapped out. She remembered that it was all his fault. It was his fault that she was suffering so. It was his fault that... she was pregnant and she was alone.

She quickly disconnected and burst in even harder tears cursing her own stupidity.

What the hell are you doing?! Are you mad??!!

calm down... you cant be so nervous. baby... think about it... i wonder what it will be... girl? or a boy? if it will be a boy... he will have his black curls... and brown eyes... if i had a boy he would look like Orlando... i would have him... like the doc said... the part of him would be with me...i cant have him... i will have a little copy of him... its insane... youre thinking like a lunatic... you must love this baby not because itll be Orlandos copy... you must love it because its your baby... baby... and if its a girl...? do you remember how youve always wanted to see your man with a cute little babygirl by his side? how i wish i could see Orlando and... stop that! you cant think this way. you will never see Orlando and your baby... he will never know... but why?! i know he loves me! and i know hes with Lauren only because he feels guilty about her. if i told him that im expecting his baby he would leave her and come back to me and we could be together and i wouldnt be alone and i would be the happiest girl on this planet!

Under an influence of some strange mad impulse Jamie again grabbed her cellphone.

I want to be happy... she repeated again and again while waiting for a familiar click. At the same moment when she she heard that a receiver was being picked up she disconnected.

YOU CANT DO IT!! she yelled to herself and threw the cellphone through the room. She didnt even pay attention that it smashed the wall and dropped to the floor in a condition that completly was out of using.

what madness possessed you?! youre not thinking straight! now you suddenly want to forgive him what he had done? you want to forgive him that he promised he would never hurt you and then he slept with Lauren? you want to forget that you saw him and Lauren kissing? you want to trust him again knowing that he would probably do something like that again?! do you really want to risk??

No... she answered aloud to herself breaking the deafening silence in her winnebago.

you have to be strong now. not only for yourself this time. you have to be strong also for this tiny precious and innocent thing in you. now you have someone youre responsible for... And she suddenly felt happy. A bright smile lightened her tear marked face as she placed her hands at her stomach.

Hello... its your mommy... i want you to know that no matter what happen, i will always love you, and i will always be with you. Well make it together.

She fell asleep when the sun was slowly and lazily rising over the horizon. As if it wanted to delay the day and give Jamie few more precious minutes of a peaceful rest she needed so much.

<*><*><*>

Yet when she woke up all gloomy and black thoughts returned and hit her with a doubled force. When the bright sun peeked inside the room through the small gaps in the rollets she groaned and burried her face in a pillow. She didnt want to get up. She didnt want to meet people. She didnt want to go to Peter and tell him that shes pregnant and from now on she needs a low-rated treatment, and in three or four months she will have to leave for good.

Before the pregnancy will become visible... she spoke to herself while watching her reflection in a bathroom mirror. She made two steps backwards so she could see more of herself in a mirror, and pulled her vest a little up. Her belly was still flat.

and maybe im not really pregnant..? maybe doctor Doyle is mistakened..? he told me to go to the gynaecologist and do more tests... doctor Doyle is not a gynaecologist... what does he know about THESE things? and this whole nausea can be really caused with stress like Freddy says... there is no other signs that im pregnant, like... what are other signs of pregnancy? ive never known anyone whos pregnant, and in the movies those chicks only run to the loo and throw up, nothing more... is that the only sign? damn...

She made a sudden twist and ran to the wc bowl.

... bloody hell... she hoarsed through an aching throat wiping her mouth with a top of her hand. I have to strenghts to go through it...

Aww..Peter is so sweet. Iris..I loved this chapter. I'm so glad things are looking up just a bit but I still strongly believe that she should tell Orli because it is his baby, no matter the circumstances but then again that thing with Lauren..*sighs* you've got a soap opera hunni!! update soon!!!

so here's what has been lost... maybe this will somehow make me to continue this story... but i'm afraid i've lost my heart for it somewhere along the way...

For the next day doctor Doyle made Jamie an appointment with some gynaecologist in the town. And her last hope flew away with words sixth week. So she was really pregnant. The only thing she could do now was getting used to that fact. And it wasnt easy. The morning nauseas didnt stop though doctor Meredith Grant gave her at least a pound of some pills, vitamins and stuffs that were supposed to help her. All the doubts she had were dawning at her every single day, every single hour, and every single time she was more and more sure she wont make it. Yet she wasnt alone with all that. Peter and doctor Doyle turned out to be great friends and helpers. Besides Jamie told two more persons about everything. Thrina and Freddy.

When they heard about it... it was pretty interesting picture actually.

Jamie decided to tell them few days after her first visit at the gynaecologist. She wanted that her two the closest friends know. But as it turned out, it wasnt easy for her. For an hour she was tossing around the room like a bird in a cage. And this promoted an idea that she had some mental problems, which wasnt such a big mistake after all.

Will you please put your butt in a non-mobile position for a small second or i swear i will tie you down. Thrina warned from above some magazine she was flipping through.

Yea, whats wrong you with you girl? Youre acting like you... actually you were never acting this way. What is it?

Jamie stopped in the middle of the room and looked at girls with a real madness in her green eyes.

I have to tell you about something.

Thrina put her magazine aside, and Freddy stopped her senseless staring at a magic eye with an irritated growl (damn it! theres nothing here to see!!), and they both look at Jamie.

What? You look like you wanted to tell us that youre at least pregnant or something. Freddy snapped, and then she and Thrina burst in laughter obviously thinking that was a great joke. But this laughter quickly died in their throats when they saw an expression on Jamies face. The whole blood drained from her face in a second making the dark bags under her eyes became even darker. She made two uncertain steps backwards and with relief felt a chair behind. She plopped at it helplessly.

What is going on?

Freddy and Thrina dashed to her right away.

Jam, what do you want to tell us?

I was only joking with this pregnancy, you know... stupid joke, sorry.

Jamie let a small sigh through her trembling white lips.

I... i am... really... umm... she stammered in pell-mell. What if they dont understand her? What if they disapprove of her decision and turn around from her? What if she loses them? A real avalanche of black thoughts and questions attacked her while she was looking at two concerned faces in front of her.

Thrina took Jamies hand and massaged it comfortingly.

You what?

Im pregnant... At the same moment when she spoke those words she promised to herself that it was the last time when she told about it. It cost her too much.

Preg... Freddy tried to speak but something stopped her. Probably her own hand she was biting nervously.

But that was only a joke... Thrina said under her breath; her eyes never so big and round.

But i am really pregnant and that is no joke.

So your swoon?

Yes.

Wasnt a cause of stress.

No.

And your nauseas?

Yes.

Also wasnt a cause of stress.

No.

Whos the father?

Jamie and Thrina gave Freddy and-who-do-you-think look.

Orlando then.

Does he know?

No.

Will you tell him?

No.

Ever.

Ever.

Are you going to have this baby?

Yes.

But if you dont want Orlando to know than you will have to...

...leave before the pregnancy will become visible.

Are you scared?

Like hell.

Are you sure?

On Saturday i went to the gynaecologist in the town. She left me no doubts.

How long?

Sixth week.

Wow...

Yea...

Are you happy?
I dont know. Right now im still shocked.

When they ran out of all the questions that came to their heads a long moment of silence fell amongst them. Freddy and Thrina were slowly digesting all the informations they just heard, and Jamie was waiting with tension for they reaction. She was scared again. next time when i faint this time it will be definitely caused with the stress!!!

The first who spoke was Thrina. She first looked at Jamie, and then turned to Freddy.

Fred, do you know what this mean?

That Jamie soon will not fit to her clothes and i will borrow those groovy velvet pants of hers?

Jamie lifted her harrased face a bit and looked with surprise at her friends.

That too. But first of all this means we will be aunties.

Ow... youre right. I never was an aunty.

So this means... Jamie spoke slowly, not sure what to think about it. ...youre not mad?

Mad? Are you mad? Why should we be mad?

I dont know... you were so...

Shocked?

Surprised?

Taken aback?

Amazed?

Thrilled?

Astonished?

Startled?

Flabbergasted?

Strike?

Okay! But i thought that... i dont know what i thought... im confused with all this...

If i expected a baby i would be confused too. But you didnt think that we dont understand or disapprove or something, dont you?

Well...

Oh Jamie! We could never do that! Both Thrina and Freddy shot at her and started embracing and hugging her and generally cutting out let of air to her laungs.

We love you! And were with you! And if you think that you will be left alone with this little something in you than you are in a big mistake missy!

That was even more than Jamie expected. She was so touched and happy she couldnt stop her tears from falling. And her raging hormones also didnt help her. Thrina and Freddy joined her and a moment later the whole trio was madly crying in the middle of the room. From time to time jerky i will be an aunties or but i know nothing about babies or wows were rising above the sobs, sniffs and loud blows in tissues.

So Jamie had two more partners in crime who were ready to help her. But what was the most important to her was the fact that neither Freddy nor Thrina didnt try to persuade her to tell Orlando about the baby. They perfectly knew why Jamie didnt want to do it. And they understood her decision. And even if they didnt understant it they also knew perfectly well that there was nothing that could overcome Jamies stubborness. So that was all in this subject.


For the first days after Jamie found out that she's pregnant, and after she told Peter, Thrina and Freddy about it, she was totally crashed. She knew that she wasn't alone, she had four great people that were always ready to help her, yet she also knew that they wouldn't be with her always. Soon she would have to leave New Zealand and they couldn't go with her. When she comes back to London she would be alone. Though she was trying to get used to the thought that she would have a baby, she still wasn't sure if she makes it. All those doubts that were poisoning her head were leaving her only for hours when she was on the set, working. Unfortunately Peter reduced her those hours as much as he could. When she was coming back to her winnebago she had to face all her fears again.

Besides there was another thing that didn't let her for a peaceful sleep. She feared that Orlando might find out somehow. That something might slip from Thrina or Freddy or Peter or doc. That he would notice something... That scared her to death. And on the other hand she secretely wanted it to happen. She wouldnt have to face the problem alone if he found out.

"problem? it's your baby, and not a problem" she was correcting herself in her thoughts, though she still had a problem with believing it. your baby. youll be a mummy... and youll be the best mummy this world has ever seen! why? because this baby is a part of you and Orlando. then why shouldnt i tell him about it? we could be so happy together, i know that, we would be a perfect family! then why shouldnt i...? and so on for long hours of sleepless nights. She couldnt not to think about it. It was just simply impossible. And Jamie was fed up with it. Thats why she moved to Thrina. One evening she just grabbed her bag, packed the most important things and knocked into her door with tears all over her face and a determined look in her eyes. Two days later Freddy did the same, though she was less teary and determined, and the whole trio lived together spending all evenings on chatting about babies names, reading specialist magazines which they had to hide very carefully everytime someone visited them, and generally acting like people who expect a baby. This was a real blessing for Jamie. She finally didnt feel lonely. And she finally started to feel happy about the fact that she was going to become a mother. She never fully lost her doubts but now she was able to think that she would make it. She had a hope. And with a smile she was watching how her belly with every week was becoming bigger and rounder.

Soon i will more resemble a cow than a human being, she was nagging as she was looking at her belly while lying on a couch during the lazy evenings with the girls. But then she was bursting in a laughter when Freddy threw a pillow at her, and Thrina made a suggestive twirl with a finger around her forehead.

Stop cowing me here and lets eat something or i will die!

You dont have to say it twice! Jamie was in the kitchen within a second followed by moos and laughter.

You girls are mean!

Mooooooowere not!!

And so they lived this way almost carefree. The pills from doctor Grant reduced the nausea and only Jamies neverending apetite and her growing size remembered that she was pregnant. And soon they stood before another problem. How to hide the growing belly? The days became warmer and warmer, and Jamies belly rounder and rounder. She couldnt constantly wear oversized mens shirts or blouses. So one week-end they made a huge travel to the town in searchings for some discreet pregnant clothes. And it wasnt an easy thing, even for girls who could do shoppings as their main profession.

First rule- nothing tight. Jamie groaned with desperation at those words. No tank-tops, no low-cut jeans, no stripes...

Is there anything that i can wear??!! Jamie roared at a whole street when they stopped in front of the window of one of the shops for normal people.

Yes. Sack-like things.

Jamie snarled at this solution with even greater anger. My last weeks in this paradise and i have to wear a sack!! I swear i will kill... you know who!!! she turned on the heel and stormed away from the cause of the unbearable heartache.

It eased a little when they finally found a proper shop and Jamie tried few clothes on.

See! Its not that bad! Freedy chirped while handing her another blouse with a low neckline. Besides youre leaving in June, till then your belly wont become somehow enormously big so it wont be necessary to wear all those totally sacky things. You can leave them for London.

Thats not very consoling. Jamie left a fitting room and went to a huge mirror. She was rather pleased with what she saw. And Freddy and Thrina were more than pleased.

You look beautiful... Freddy sighed watching Jamie with a teary glance.

Arent you overreacting a bit?

No, i am not. Not at all. Its true what they say, theres something in pregnant women that makes them extraordinairy beautiful.

It doesnt happen often, but this time i must agree with Fred. You look really gerat, Jamie.

Jamie looked again at her reflection, then at the girls, and murmured withdrawing to the fitting room, You both are nuts...

When they came back to the camp, loaded with a dozen of bags and packs, they found a note on the door of Thrinas winnebago.

Girls! Pete wants to meet us all in the canteen at 8. Some big thing!! Be there!!! Dom.

They looked at each other with puzzled faces.

What big thing? Thrina asked as she looked through her purse searching for keys.

No idea. But you know Pete. Hes unpredictable.

Jamie paled suddenly. But you dont think that hes going to tell about... you know... she pointed at her belly. Thrina and Freddy froze on a door step.

What? Noooo!

Why would he?

Why now?

Why at all?

Its not his business anyway.

And its not his story to tell.

Pheeeew.... Jamie sighed with a visible relief. Its a second time today you girls agree wirh each other. That must mean something.

And you girl need to calm down and stop getting nervous every time theres something unusual around. Or else this little one in you get pissed and kick your arse when it comes out.

Well said. But now we need to hurry if we dont wanna be late for the big thing.

Twenty minutes later they met in the kitchen for a quick cup of coffee or a carrot juice in Jamies case. Another reason of moanings of the latter.

Pleeeaaaase Thrinny, just a sip, lil tiny sip... Jamie whined staring with a maniac intensity at her friends cup.

No. You know that in your condition...

Blahblahblah....

...you need to avoid....

Blahblahblah....

...all the stimulants

Blahblahblah.... I really have enough of those speaches.

Than start acting like a responsible soon-to-be-a-mother-person.

But i dont want to! i dont want to be resposible! i want to be irresponsible! i want to drink loads of coffee and get palpitations! i want to go to a club and have a wild fun for entire night! i want to drink my ass to death! i want all that back!!!

Before Thrina or Freddy could react, Jamie was sitting on the floor crying her eyes out and babbling something incomprehensibly through the tears. It took them few minutes to calm her down.

Sorry...she sniffed finally grabbing a tissue and wiping her face. Hormons. I will go insane with those swings of moods.

Dont worry, Jam. You wont be lonely in it. Freddy patted her comfortingly on the arm.

Thank you, thats really comforting to know that my friends will lose their minds because of me and my sick behaviour.

You welcome. Thats my job-making people feel comfortable. Freddy sticked her tongue at Jamie and with a cruelty finished her coffee. Lets go ladies. Lets finally find out what is this Petes big thing!



<*><*><*>

When they reached the canteen it was already filled with people. They squeezed through the crowd and found some empty seat.

Jamie seat.

Why me?

You know what.... Freddy hissed through her clenched teeth. Your...

Shut up! Jamie hissed back with panic.

I didnt say anything!

Yet!

Then seat!

Im not an invalid!

But youre...

Shut up!

What are you girls whispering about?

The whole three jumped when they heard Doms voice.

We?

Nothing!

At all!

Dom frowned. THOSE days again, huh?

Yes!

No!

Nothing!

Yep, definitely THOSE days... he whispered to himself and looked around looking for someone who could save him. And he found, few feet to his right. Billy, man! Im glad to see you! Come here!

Billy, with Elijah behind his back joined them a moment later.

Wassup?

Nothing.

Do you guys know what is this all about? Thrina asked as she managed to seat Jamies stubborn butt on the chair. Whys this gathering?

Dunno. I just got a message that we need to meet here about 8 cuz theres some big thing and was supposed to inform others. Dom explained, and using the crowd sneaked his hand into Thrinas.

If in a few minnutes i dont find out what is this all about i will start kicking biting and screaming. Jamie stated in a dangerously serious tone. Billy and Elijah peeked at her suspiciously.

THOSE days... Dom mouthed so none of the girls notice.

Owww.... i see. Billy whispered and then moved a step away. Very discreetly of course.

Just then Peter appeared and clearing his throat in a very suggestive way made the crowd quiet.

People, this is a special day for all of us. he started in a ceremonial tone. The rustle in the room rose after those words. We have a proof that what were doing here has sense and people wait for it. Ledies and gentlemen. During last 24 hours the first LOTR trailer was downloaded by... he made a pause and with a mysterious smile looked around the tensed faces, then he finished, ... 1.670.000 people!

A dead silece filled the canteen. Everyone was staring at Peter Jackson as if he just said that hes from the planet called Serenity and he comes in peace.

To make you sure that its an important thing for us i will add that those 1.670.000 people are an absolutle record of the internet.

Only then the reaction came. And it scared all the birds and other animals from the nearset woods. People were screaming, laughing, hugging, clapping, weeping, dancing on the tables, singing, screaming a little more, and doing few other things that were difficult to classify. A total madness.

Jamie made an effective happiness dance on her chair and then threw herself in the arms of the first person that found themself near. And this person happened to be Orlando who in a magical way appeared right next to her. In that moment the time stopped its pace. As if he feared that Jamie might push him away and escape, Orlando closed her in a tight embrace of his arms. It was so good having her near again, even for those tiny seconds, before she realizes what she was doing. The scent of her hair, the soft touch of her skin, her madly beating heart against his chest. All this was a painfully remeberance of something that was his, and what he lost. And he didnt want to lose it again.

The voices and laughter slowly faded from Jamies head when she felt a pair of arms surrounding her body. She didnt even saw a face of the person she was holding. She didnt see who it was. But she felt it. She knew it was him. She still remembered his scent though for long weeks she was trying to erase it from her memory. Now she knew why she couldnt do it. It was too good to feel... even if it made her hurt.

Jamie... she felt a shiver when Orlandos soft voice and his warm breath caressed her neck. Again she realized how much she missed him. And how much she loved him. And how much she wanted him to love her. ...i love you...

No... she moaned against her will. In her heart she wanted to stay i his arms forever but her mind already started to fight. Get away from me!

She snapped suddenly pushing Orlando away.

But why?

I dont want to talk to you. Just leave me.... and she pushed through the crowd to the exit. Her eyes stinging from tears and heart beating madly under her shirt as if it was going to pop out of her chest. please... dont follow me! Dont follow... she was praying in her thoughts squeezing amongst the people on her way, too scared to turn around. She was too scared, too jittery, too shocked... She only wanted to flee and hide so noone could find her. Noone.

<*><*><*>

Jamie?! Jamie!! Are you here?!! Cmon Jam!! If youre here say something!!

Thina and Freddy stormed to the winnebago and start searching through the whole place. But the was no sign of Jamie. Thrinna flopped into a couch and stared at Freddy who was walking there and back again, both very anxious.

What happened there?

I dunno! I saw nothing! Everyone was screaming and dancing and everything.... i saw nothing in this fuss... Thrina hid her face in hands and started rocking back and forth.

I only saw Orlando standing with a face of a beaten puppy. I actually felt sorry for him, you know...? Freddy sat on the couch and leant her head against Thrinas shoulder.

I know. They both are so miserable. If we could only do something...

But what?!

I dont know! Something! Why everything screwed up? Why did he brought this stupid bitch here?!

Who? And whom?

Orlando!! Bitch Lauren!! If not her everything would be so great!! They would be together!! Thrina slammed her fist against the table letting the frustration out.

Cmon. Calm down. Hurting yourself wont help in anything. And we cant blame Lauren. Remember it was Orlando who slept with her. She didnt force him, nor drugged him... it was his decision.

And what? This suppose to help me? That Orlando is the one to blame and not Lauren??

Okay, its not helping, but we have to be honest. We cant blame Lauren just because-

Fcuk this!!! I dont care if im honest or not!! I dont want to be honest! I want our bunch to be back! I want us to be happy! Thrina roared with fury and misery.

All this is like a stupid slushy soap opera... Freddy sighed and embraced Thrinna. Just then they heart a sound of an opening lock.

Jamie!! As on a command they dashed to a figure that appeared in the door.

Where were you?!

How are you?!

What happenened?!

Hey, hey! Calm down ladies! Im fine! I just went for a walk. I needed air.

Jamie stretched on a couch and smiled at her friends. They were still at the door staring at her with dumb faces.

What? What happened to you two?

What happened to us?! What happened to YOU??!! What happened in the canteen??!!

Oh, that. Same thing as usual. Not planned phisical contact with the father of my baby.

If it was even possible expression on Thrinas and Freddys faces became even dumber.

And you speak about it with such a calmness??

Yea.

But...

And what was i supposed to do? Panic and weep as usual??

Well... yea?

Well, not anymore. My condition stands me enough of mood swings. I decided to not take care of Orlando anymore. For my and my babys sake.

And you can do that? You decide and its done? You dont care? Freddy sat on the floor by the couch still staring at Jamie with full intense. Teach me master!!! she screamed and made a low bow causing that Jamie burst in laughter.

But seriously. You mean it? Thrina sat on the edge of the coffe table and leant towards Jamie. Now her expression was saying tell me! Seriously tell me!. Youre over him?

No. Im not over him.

Thrina frowned. Either im that dense or your reasoning is too complicated.

Ehem... do you want me to answer to that? Jamie blinked with a leer.

No. I dont really want that. I want to know what exactly had happened. In the canteen. With you. With everything. But first i want coffee.

Coffee?? At this time? Its almost 10 pm. I dont know if its a good move in your condition... Jamie smirked.

Hey! Its my line! And im in such condidtion that demands a mug of coffee. Fred, wants some?

Sure.

I guess theres no point in asking for a small cup for me?

Thrina stopped on her way to the kitchn and sent Jamie a what-do-you-think-look. Jamie rolled to her side and mumbled its not fair under her nose.

Fifteen minutes later they were all back in the different places of the living room... okay, lets make clear once and for all, that wasnt exactly a living room--a place with a tiny couch, old raining armchair, even tinier coffee table that more resembled a wooden case turned with its bottom up than a table, and a tattered carpet which saw its better times many years earlier, is hard to call a living room. But what more one can expect from a small winnebago? And when youre forced to live in something like that for many months you start treating it like your home, and the room of a matchbox size becomes a comfy living room. Man can get used to everything.

...and so they were sitting in the LIVING ROOM, Freddy and Thrina blowing at their coffees, and Jamie glaring dangerously at a mug with a herbal tea on the table, and casting even more dangerous glances at her friends.

This is so unfair... she repeated again and scowled when bitter liquid flowed through her throat. And disgusting!

Stop whining and drink. Thats for your good. Doctor Doyle ordered you to drink it. And you must fulfill doctors orders.

That sucks.

At least you have a reason for detoxicating your system.

You know where you can stick such reason??

You know you dont mean it!!

I know. But im getting tired...

Already?? Its only few months!! Wait a little more and then you..

You know what Fred? Do me a favour and stop helping me, okay?

Okay. But i want to help you! I will be auntie! I must help!!!

Jamie sighed unable to discuss any longer, and she just waved her hand at Freddy and took another sip of her drink.

Brrrr.... she shivered from the bitter taste.

Hey! Were the best!! Thrina who for last few minutes was strangely quiet and lost in her thoughts suddenly jumped to her feet and started dancing around the room chanting something under her nose.

I said it once, and i say it again-im not the one who needs a doctors advice here... umm... Thrina, darling, are you feeling well?

Do i?? Thrinna stopped for a moment and looked at Jamie and Freddy with such face as if there was something wrong with them and not her. I feel wonderful!!!!

At least you.... But can i know the reason of such a sudden outburst of happiness and vital powers?

I told you! WE. ARE. THE. BEST!!!!

Of course we are. But again, why?

I know that this whole pregnancy thing controls your life and mind but you must remember Petes big thing!! The trailer!! Over million and a half people!! Ring any bell?!

Yes, it rang a bell. Very loud bell. Freddy and Jamie simultaneously dashed to Thrina and they all started jumping and screaming with joy.

OH MY GOD!!

DID YOU HEAR THAT?!

A MILLION AND A HALF AND SOMETHING SOMETHING!!

PEOPLE SAW!!

THE TRAILER!!

OF OUR MOVIE!!

WE RULE!!!

WERE THE BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jamie hopped at the couch and started skipping on it like a little rabbit straining the poor old furniture to its limits. Simple sitting on it was too much and hopping meant simply a murder. Any minute it could fall apart. Yet it wasnt the couch that fell....



<*><*><*>

Jamie winced and fell to her knees when a sudden and sharp pain shot through her belly.
Oh my god!! Jamie!! Whats wrong?!
The baby... Jamie whispered with tears of pain and fear in her eyes. Somethings wrong with the baby!
Thrina grabbed the phone and with trembling fingers dialed doctor Doyles number. Freddy was already by Jamies side with the same panic in her eyes.
Jamie, what is wrong?! she asked still not very sure what was going on.
Hurts.... it hurts.... Jamie sobbed writhring on the couch with her arms still squeezing her belly. Tears were flowing down her face that screwed up from pain.
Doctor Doyle?! This is Thrina! Theres something wrong with Jamie! Something happened to her! Shes in great pain! Please doctor! You must come here! Okay... Please hurry!! Thrina disconnected and sat by Freddy. Doctor Doyle will be here in 10 minutes. Please, hold on girl, just hold on!
Jamie moaned again when another cramp squeezed her stomach.
I cant lose it... she sobbed. I cant lose the baby....
You wont lose it. Everything will be fine... Thrina brushed her forehead gently.
Of course it will be! Doctor Doyle will be here in a minute and hell take care of everything! Freddy tried to sound optimistic but when she saw ex-pression on Jamies face she felt even greater fear.
Any minute now... she stood up and started pacing there and back again across the room biting her nails nervously. But those 10 minutes stretched almost into eternity, and when finally they heard knocking at the door, Freddy and Thrina both ran to open, almost knocking themselves down on the way.
Okay girls, could you leave us for a moment? Doctor Doyle kneeled by the couch and fumbled in his case.
Of course but you must help her!
I try.
Freddy and Thrina disappeared in the kitchen.
And now Jamie tell me whats wrong?
Pain... sharp pain... here... she pointed at her belly, and doctor Doyle took the sethoscope.
Okay, lets hear...



<*><*><*>
*in the kitchen*
Omygod Omygod Omygod.... i hope its nothing serious! Freddy moved her pacing and biting nails to the kitchen and there started stamping a path in the kitchen floor.
I dont know... Jamie looked like she was in real pain... Thrina stood beside the window and looked outside. The night was very warm and stuffy. Suddenly a white zigzag tore the distant sky. Seconds later a quiet murmur was heard.
The storm is coming.
Maybe we should do something...?
Like what?
I dont know... maybe... maybe we should call for Orlando...
Thrina turned from the window and looked at her friend who now was putting the mugs on the shelf with their sizes.
Why for?
If something happens with the baby...
Nothing will happen!
I know! I hope! But maybe if Orlando was here... she would...
She would kill us!
I know! But Orlando loves her! Its his baby! He has a right to know!
But its not our right to tell him. Thrina went to Freddy and embraced her. Hunny, i know you worry about Jamie. I worry about her too, but we cant make decisions for her. Especially this decision.
I know... Freddy weeped in Thrinas shoulder. But im just so scared...
I am too. But doctor Doyle will not let anything happen to Jamie...

*in the living room*
Okay Jamie, now relax... Doctor Doyle put his hands on Jamies stomach and started pressing it lightly. Does it hurt?
Yes... Doctor... is something wrong with the baby?
I dont know yet but we have to hope for the best... and here?
Yes... i cannot lose it...
Doctor Doyle eyed Jamie with a smile lightening his old wrinkled face, and placed his hand gently on her sweaty forehead.
Child, you will not lose it, if i have anything to say about it, you will not lose your baby. I promise you this.



<*><*><*>
After ten minutes, which seemed to last ten years, Thrina and Freddy, no matter how much they were trying to compose and comfort each other, they reached the top of their endurance and peeked to the living room. They couldnt see Jamie since she was still lying on the couch, but doctor Doyle was sitting by her on the edge of it and he was lightly chatting with her. By the look on his face they assumed there was no longer any danger, but to make fully sure...
And?? They asked simultaneously. Doctor Doyle turned his grey head towards them and smiled slightly amused. i guess this kid will not be complaining of a lack of considerate mothers... it needs a father still...
Come on in, girls.
Thrina and Freddy used the invitation but they didnt exactly come in. They raced in, landed their butts on the edge of the coffee table and fixed their anticipated stares on doctors face. He had to use all his might to not burst in laughter at their uncommon behavior.
Jamie is fine.
Freddy and Thrina darted quick glances at their friend, who smiled at them blithely, sent her two quick smiles, and then fixed their eyes back on doctor Doyle still waiting for more explanations. Reading their faces what wasnt very difficult, doctor proceeded.
She had contractions but they werent any serious contractions. They happen from time to time during the pregnency and they are caused by some strong excitement. Theyre completely natural...
Pheeew... Freddy let a long sigh of relief, and then she nudged Thrina in the ribs. I told you it wasnt anything serious!
YOU told ME? As far as i remember you were panicking and tossing around the whole place!
But i knew everything will be alright!
Girls!! Doctor Doyle interrupted the dialogue. Calm down, please. Jamie still needs a rest, what means no nerves, no shocks, no unnecessary excitements. Do you understand? Can i count on you two?
Freddy saluted, and Thrina nodded her head frantically.
Okay. Now Jamie you will go to your bed, and you two make sure noone disturb her. And tomorrow you will take her to doctor Grant, and shell make Jamie USG...
USG?? Why?? You told that everythings fine... Tension reappeared in Thrinas Face.
And is okay. We only want to make sure. Besides this check-up has to be repeated from time to time, and as far as i remember you should visit doctor Grant soon, dont you? Doctor looked down at Jamie who spoke for the first time since the girls returned from the kitchen.
Yes, I was supposed to visit her next week.
Well, well bring it a bit forward. Ill make call to Patty first thing in the morning, and make you an appointment.
Thanks doc.
Doctor Doyle smiled again with his genuine warm smile and patted Jamies hand with fatherly tenderness.
You welcome kiddo. Just dont force yourself, and everything will be fine. Okay? Jamie nodded. Oh, and i will also call Peter, and inform him about everything. Im sure hell give you few days off... Jamie sat straight hearing those words.
No no!! Only not that! Hes already given me a special treatment! I dont want to let him down even more than i already did! And I dont want to bother him, he has so many things on his head! Besides if i take off people might start to suspect something!! And hell i dont want that! Please doc!!
Doctor Doyle frowned at Jamies whiny and pleading face, and after a few seconds of a mute eye battle he sighed heavily.
Fine... I will not tell him... BUT!! If you dont take my words seriously, i swear you will take the first flight home. Do i make myself clear?
Like a crystal! Jamie smiled at him reassuringly and lay back down. Dont worry doc, you saw how scared i was. From now on i will be the most obedient pacient youve ever had.
Glad to hear that. And you two, doctor turned to Thrina and Freddy, you two will help her in that.
Yes sir!!



<*><*><*>
After doctor Doyle left, Thrina and Freddy helped Jamie to go upstairs, and explanations like girls, im only pregnant, and not totally paralysed seemed to work nothing. They were going to fulfil doctors orders very scrupulously... even if that meant that they would tie Jamie down and gag her to avoid her protests.
Jamie seemed to realize the danger and finally decided to give up for her own good. She didnt even squeal when Freddy covered her so tightly with the blanket that she couldnt do any movement, and now was really like paralysed. That of course was a purposeful action.
Good night, Jam.
Good night sisters of mercy! Jamie sighed when they left, and tried to release at least her hands from a tight grip of the blanket. She stared at a black space and a million thoughts immediately ran through her head. But before she could think about any of them she drifted into a peaceful sleep.



Thrina and Freddy on their very tiptoes went downstairs hissing and wincing at every creak of the stairs, sat on the couch and both let a long sigh of a great relief.
Damn... I was scared... Freddy stretched legs on the table while Thrina reached for her mug with rest of cold coffee.
Me too. But did you see Jamie? She was terrified. She really wants this baby...
Of course she does. After all its HIS baby.
Yea... Pity hell never find out...
Maybe he will one day. Freddy stared at the ceiling completely lost in her thoughts. She tried to imagine how she would act if it was her, and not Jamie pregnant. And she realized she would have no idea what to do. She would be scared and lost... Suddenly she felt a great respect for the girl that was sleeping upstairs. For her strength and determination.
You know what? she spoke aloud still staring up. Im not sure if id have enough strength to go through it if i was in Jamies shoes...
I was thinking the same. And i... her further words were interrupted by a sudden knocking at the door. Visitors? At this hour?
Nevertheless Thrina went to the door. It was Orlando she saw when she slightly opened it.
Hi, can i come in?
Umm... its kinds late...
I know, but just for a moment. Please...?
Okay then. Thrina made a step aside and let Orlando in. She herself wasnt sure why she did that. She knew that she wouldnt let him see with Jamie but... there was something in him, in his eyes; he was so sad and miserable... She just couldnt throw him out.
Hi Fred. Orlando smiled faintly as he sat by her on the couch.
Hi. You suffer from sleeplessness?
Something like that. He paused for a second. Is Jamie here?
Thrina and Freddy cast a quick glance at each other.
She is... but shes already asleep.
Ow... i understand... Orlando hung his head and stared at his hands as if it was the most interesting object in the whole universe to look at (A/N: privately i think it is). Very uncomfortable and heavy silence fell upon the room while Thrina and Freddy were darting glances at each other and at Orlando.
Want something to drink? Thrina finally broke the silence.
No, thank you. I wanted to talk to Jamie but if shes sleeping i guess id be going... Orlando stood up and made few hesitant steps towards the door. Sorry for bothering you. I dont know what i came here in the first place. Even if she wasnt sleeping she probably wouldnt talk to me. So bye.
Wait! Freddy deshed to the door after Orlando and stopped him before he could leave. We need to talk.
Thrina looked at her with fear and mouthed, What are you doing?
Talk? About what? Orlando looked confused when he let Freddy to drag him back to the couch.
About everything! Thrina, made us coffee.
Thrina nodded her head and went to the kitchen. Second later she peeked to the room.
Umm, Freddy dear, could you help me?
Sure!
What the bleep are you doing?! Thrina hissed so Orlando couldnt hear her when Freddy ran to the kitchen.
What do you mean?
Why did you stop him? And what do you want to talk about?
I dont know about what. But you saw him! He never looked like this! Hes heartbroken!
Hes the one who led up to it!
I know but dont tell me you dont feel sorry for him.
I do! But i swear if something about Jamie and you know WHAT slip from your big mouth i swear ill be the second one after Jamie who will kill you.
I wont say anything! But werent it you who a few hours ago wanted to do something to make things right again?
Yes! But i dont want to do anything behind Jamies back!
I will not do anything behind Jamies back! I just want to talk to Orlando! Hes still our friend and he suffers as much as Jamie. We need to at least talk to him.
Okay! But i swear...
I know, you will make my miserable existence even more miserable.
You bet i do!
They returned to the living room carrying three mugs with steaming coffee. Their jaws dropped when they found noone there.
Oh no...



<*><*><*>

For a few minutes after the girls disappeared in the kitchen, Orlando was simply staring at the floor playing with a string of his blouse and listening to the raised whispers coming from the room behind his back. He smiled to himself since it was pretty obvious it was him that the girls were so vividly discussing. And suddenly something came to his head...

theyre both in the kitchen... jamies upstairs... im here... soooo....

Extremely quietly he got up from the couch and on his very tiptoes (wthats with this tiptoeing??!!) went to the stairs. He paused for a second only to find that the girls were still busy with their conversation, then he climbed up.

Door to Jamies room were slightly open. Orlando took a deep breath and felt how the heart in his chest all of a sudden increased its pace. He made two more steps and found himself covered with complete darkness. Faint sound of Jamies breath and his previous visits in this room helped him to localize the bed.

Jamie?? Orlando whispered as he kneeled beside the bed. There was no response what he welcomed with a small sigh of relief. He didnt want to be thrown out with another stream of painful words. He just wanted to... say goodbye. Jamie, I know Ive hurt you. That was the last thing Ive ever wanted to do... yet I did... I will hate myself for that to the rest of my days... I know you dont hear me but maybe thats better... If I told you this normally you wouldnt probably even care and that... Orlando stopped as the knot growing in his throat choked his words. He swallowed hard. There wasnt much time. Any minute Thrina or Freddy or, whats worse both of them could show up, and he had to say this. Until he had strength and courage to do that... Short moment later he managed to continue, ...that would kill me.. the way you look at when we meet... thats the worst punishment. And I know I deserve it... I just want you to know that I love you, more than I have ever loved any other woman. And I know there will never be another. Never. And.. umm.. from now on I swear Ill leave you alone... you wont have to deal with me, you wont have to talk to me, Ill try to disappear from your life.. though thatll be the hardest thing Ive... I want you to be happy, Jamie... and I love you... Tears were freely flowing down his face when he finished. It was harder than he thought. And he wasnt sure if he was able to keep the promise he had just made. He leant over Jamies motioneless figure and kissed her lips as light as he only could. She stirred slightly under his touch and mumbled something he didnt understand. The punding in his ears completely drowned any other sounds.

With racing and broken heart and wet face he left the room. Outside he rested his head against the wall trying to calm himself.

Orlando!! A nervous hiss came from down the stairs. What the hell are you doing?!

He slowly tore his head off of the wall and went down.

Saying goodbye... he spoke in a husky voice when he stopped by the girls. Freddy looked terrified, and Thrina pissed but both their faces fell when they realized what condition Orlando was.

What do you mean... Thrina began.

... goodbye? and Freddy ended.

Orlando gave them only a faint smile. Take care of her, okay?

Okay... but...

I finally realized that I did something that Jamie will never forgive me. And the best thing to do is to leave her alone..

No no no!! You didnt! I mean you did but you cant...!! Freddy wanted to convince him, to

say something what would change his mind. She looked at Thrina searching for help but found nothing but glistening eyes and a mute consent. Her heart flinched in pain when Orlando went to the door. She was helpless.

Dont tell her I was here. She would only get irritated. Just tell her that... that I... Or dont tell her anything. Just take care of her. Bye girls.

It was a right thing he did... Thrina spoke in a shaky voice still not moving from her spot. Freddy only nodded her head completely unable to speak