The OBF add on story (G-PG-13)

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Italktoharvey

Re: The OBF add on story (G-PG-13)

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Posts: 924

(29/06/2007 18:01:08)

Has Piratical Tendencies

Kim paused. A pensive look briefly crossed her face.

'Come on, spill,' said Mellie.

'I am going to use the obvious idea..........
'Gollum Hood, Gollum Hood,
Riding through the glen,
Gollum Hood, Gollum Hood,
With his band of men,
Feared by the bad, loved by the good,
Gollum Hood! Gollum Hood! Gollum Hood! ' sang kim (badly)

Orlando blushed,'You can't do that,' I'm going to be Robin Hood, Peter asked me. And...and....'

'Yes?' questioned Kim, 'And what?'

Orlando's face flushed and he mumbled, 'I've read those stories and they are ridiculous.'

Kim shook her head and started giggling. 'Of course they are ridiculous, I was sick to the back teeth of girl meets orlando, orlando loves girl,angst, angst angst, girl gets it on with orlando. I wanted to write something different. I wanted to write a Mary Sue with Orlando not getting the girl, and I loved gollum anyway...in a purely plutonic way.'

'But Gollum can't be Robin hood, I want to be!' said Orlando throwing himself on to the couch in a hissy fit. Kim snorted again. 'I seem to recall a scene like this from 'The Barn of DOOOM'

Orlando glared at the woman, 'Don't mention that monstrocity (sp) again. I am not a pink wearing disco diva.'

'Enough!' cried Mellie, 'I've had enough. Kim write Gollum Hood and we'll post it on the board and see what reaction we get.'

'A poor one,' said Orlando petulantly.

***

Opening Scene
Interior, Saladin's dungeon. Gollum Hood in Loin cloth lies on the floor.

Guard: You (points at Gollum), you must face your punishment.

Gollum:But preciousss, we didn't do it, it was the nasty hobbitses.'

Guard: What is a Hobbit. You speak in tongues wrech.!' (grabs Gollums arm.) you stole fruit from the stall.

Gollum: But preciousss it was a fisssh, tasty succulent fishy.'

Guard: A-HA! You confess, then you loose your....

A shadow falls, the guard stops and turns, Queen Elizabeth II stands before him, holding the leads of two corgis, and a magnifing glass. A deerstalker is perched on her head.

Queen: 'Oft with this guards head Will!'

Will Scarlett (played by Orlando) : Yes Ma'am

***

'I don't think the Queen would like to be involved,' said a voice over Kims shoulder. Mellie glanced up and paled slightly, only one man had a beard like that.....

MellieM42

Re: The OBF add on story (G-PG-13)

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Posts: 9122

(29/06/2007 18:04:42)

More English than a full sunday lunch
with Yorkshire puddings

LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!! :rotf

MellieM42

Re: The OBF add on story (G-PG-13)

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Posts: 9122

(06/07/2007 21:18:58)

More English than a full sunday lunch
with Yorkshire puddings

"Uh, hello, Peter Jackson," said Mellie jumping to her feet and giving Kim a hard nudge while sending mental telepathy of "alt-tab, alt-tab, alt-tab" so that she could switch to another open window.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Kim reaching for the alt key with her left hand and the F4 key with her right, thereby closing out the browser entirely.

Relief flooded the women's faces. Mellie extended her right hand and said, "Pleased to meet you. Big fan. HUGE, in fact."

Kim jumped up next to her. "Thrilled beyond words. We have met before in fact. At the London premiere of Return of the King."

"Oh really," said Peter Jackson. "I don't quite recall..."

"Well, it was a big night for you. So many people. I am actually not surprised that you wouldn't remember meeting a humble writer like myself."

"Perhaps you have read some of Kim's work?" Mellie queried. "'The Barn of DOOOOOM'? 'Gollum's World Tour'?" Kim elbowed Mellie in the ribs.

"Is that what you were doing just now? Writing a story? Because it sounded something like my script... Orlando, what's going on here?" The director was confused.

"Well, I honestly don't know, but I think..." Orlando was interrupted by a tap on the shoulder by Mellie.

"What!?!"

"How's that working out for you?"

"How's what working out for me!?!"

Mellie's face shined with a huge grin. "Thinking."

"ARGHHHHHHHHH!! Well, I'll tell you, Peter..." Orlando started to say, but he was interrupted by a new voice laced with a Geordie accent.

"No, Orlando, let ME tell Peter." A blonde girl in her mid-20s dressed all in pink entered the room, carrying a tray of Starbucks' vente lattes, which she proceeded to hand to a very relieved Mellie and a startled Kim. "After all, I am here, aren't I?"

"I didn't know that Starbucks made deliveries," said the film star. "Wait, wait, wait. Do I know you? How did you get in here? Who are you?"

"You'd love to know...wouldn't you?"

JesusChristIsLife

Re: The OBF add on story (G-PG-13)

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Posts: 11927

(12/07/2007 17:31:19)

I'm the cute one!

HAHAHAHA! Keep going people! I don't have any strokes of brillance at the moment.

Kaity

Italktoharvey

Re: The OBF add on story (G-PG-13)

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Posts: 924

(12/07/2007 19:34:46)

Has Piratical Tendencies

EDIT: Mellie, thats cheating, now I have to change mine! :P

Kim quickly recovered her composure as the warmth of the latte filtered through to her hands, she was about to take a sip when she stopped, suddenley.

'You know,' she said, eyeing the cardboard cup sadly with suspicion, 'I think I'll pass.'

'Its not poisened,' said the blonde.

'I'm sure,' said Kim, 'but I never take swe...coffee from people in pink.'

'Isn't that a bit strange?'

'Not as strange as you appearing at the right moment with a cup of coffee. How do I know you aren't some crazy stalker?'

'Well' said the woman with an amused look, ' I wouldn't be stalking you would I?

'You would be suprised, I've been stuck with you for the last five years, you might finally want to get rid of me Marie.' said Kim darkly. Orlando glared at the two strange women arguing in his living room.

'Hello, superstar here.' He said.

'Oh, get over yourself Orlando,' said Mellie wearily, and sipped her starbucks.

Kim watched the woman for unexplained sudden death...it didn't come. Nor did foming at the mouth, choaking or twitching. Orlando but his head in is hands.

Peter Jackson continued to watch with interest, 'I have had a splendid idea.'

'Not a cunning plan then,' replied Kim snidely.

He ignored her, 'What do you think of this...'

JesusChristIsLife

Re: The OBF add on story (G-PG-13)

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Posts: 11927

(17/07/2007 12:54:25)

I'm the cute one!

Hey!

Marie ditched me! I was with her at her place. She said so on the phone.

Haha..

You guys rule!

MellieM42

Re: The OBF add on story (G-PG-13)

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Posts: 9122

(17/07/2007 13:58:40)

More English than a full sunday lunch
with Yorkshire puddings

Quote:
EDIT: Mellie, thats cheating, now I have to change mine! :P

Well, I made a MISTAKE with the accent. I couldn't figure out how the PINK hadn't given it away. So I needed to fix it. And look how nicely you covered... ;-)

And, Kaity, it is okay because it is the next day. Marie can't be at home all the time. In fact, I don't think that she is at home very often at all. ;-)

JesusChristIsLife

Re: The OBF add on story (G-PG-13)

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Posts: 11927

(17/07/2007 17:50:40)

I'm the cute one!

Bummer.

It was moot time.

Kaity

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