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Not something that he usually did on a Saturday night, but having just flown back to London from the Italian premiere of his latest film, he was feeling a bit jet lagged and depressed. The reviews of the film had not been good, and his agent wasn't returning his calls.

He could have stayed another night in Rome, but he was fed up with the women and the booze and the partying, and was looking forward to a night at home alone (well, with the exception of his faithfal dog Sidi) in front of the telly, catching up with the newest series of "Dr. Who".

He had just gotten comfortable on the sofa when the telephone rang.

A dozen eyes followed Orlando out of the door.

Kim put down her coffee cup and made a face at Mellie. "Laying it on a bit thick, weren't you?"

"He deserved it," she countered. "After the way he treated us at the Return of the King premiere?"

"He didn't do anything to us at the Return of the King premiere," stated Fran. "He wasn't there."

"PRECISELY!" Mellie exploded.

"Not that you would remember," smirked Kim. "Seems to me that you and Marie spent a lot of time in the pub that day."

"HEY!" interjected Marie. "Uh...I met Aragorn."

"Riiiiight. And I stood next to the most obnoxious girls on the planet while they yelled for Orlando for three hours, just so I could get Howard Shore's autograph." Kim resumed drinking her non-fat vanilla latte.

"You know?" Mellie interjected all of a sudden, getting up from the table and pulling on her coat. "I am going to see if I can follow him."

"Uh, why?" asked Fran. "He's an utter wanker. And you hate his acting."

"I dunno. Might be funny. Any one coming with?"

Kim stood up. "Why not? We could put it in a story on the Orli Board, if nothing else."

"Well, I'm staying here," said Marie. "You two are nuts. He isn't going to talk to you; he'll probably have you arrested for stalking him."

"Think of it as anti-stalking. We are following him to make sure that is isn't going anywhere that WE want to be," Mellie cackled.

"We'll text you if anything good happens," said Kim and went out with Mellie into the chilly London night. "Mel, did you see which way he went?"

"Of course. I'm not just a detective in your stories, Kim; he went this way." Mellie led Kim down the street into a small mews. "Uh, Kim."

"Yes..."

"If Jack the Ripper kills me while we are doing this, I designate you the new Evil Head Admin."

"Thanks, thanks a lot." Kim pushed past Mellie to take the lead.

"Does your brilliant idea have anything to do with the fact that they have been scouting this location for filming the next installment of Hornblower?" queried Kim.

"Why, Kim? Whatever gave you that idea..." Mellie grinned mischeviously. "Look, PROPS!" Mellie ran over to a large wooden crate and starting pulling out 18th century swords and Royal Navy paraphenalia as quietly as she could. "Wanna cutlass? No, better yet, look! a megaphone!"

"Oh goodness," exclaimed Kim. "She's armed AND louder than usual. He's screwed."

Mellie and Kim watched from the dock as Orlando climbed the rope all the way up to the ship's deck and swung his legs onboard.

"That can't be legal, right?" Mellie asked, amazed at the actor's audacity.

"Not as far as I know."

"Okay, good. Great! Now we are going to have a little fun. At Mr. Bloom's expense of course."

"Perhaps even 'create a diversion'?" Kim grinned mischeviously.

"Oh Kim, that was bad. SO bad... mwahahahaha!"

Mellie and Kim sneaked along the waterfront, armed with torch, trowel, cutlass and megaphone. Mr. Bloom had no idea what was headed his way.

***

Orlando Bloom stepped out of the captain's cabin and stood at the forecastle of the Cutty Sark, breathing in the night air trying to clear his head. Breaking and entering into a historic sight was not something he had ever done before, but it seemed a good idea at the time and, standing on board of the ship, he felt utterly relaxed for the first time since getting back from Italy.